Avoiding Immortality

I had made preparations with my bemused followers in the unlikely eventuality that my vanishing attempt actually succeeded. I expected that even a failure would produce a great flowering of Logic, Love and Levity to fill the vacuum left by the failure of scientific materialism, egalitarian socialism, capitalist social darwinism and religious fundamentalism which were driving the world to ecological and political-economic collapse.

 

In the event of my vanishing and not reappearing on the other side of the Earth these bewildered acolytes would have to assume that I must have joined Enoch, Elijah, Jesus, and various Hindu and Daoist holy men in Heaven. They would have to acknowledge that this event demonstrated that I was the first man to work out what on Earth was really going on. I had been telling the truth all along! They must obey my final commandment. For me to vanish in every way they must devote their lives to destroying all records that I ever existed. This would not be easy but it would be fun to try and they could become rich and famous doing it. My monstrous ego would finally be destroyed. French deconstructionists, priests and psychiatrists in particular would be pleased.